Door of Consequence
2/26/19
My heart was heavy today as I listened to the rain. I was pouring a cup of coffee early this morning, when the words "rains like days without you" ran through my mind. My wife was off to New York... yet the loss feeling wasn't her leaving for a short trip. It was for my daughter, Bailey. I was struck with her pain and the heartbreak she must feel... to lose your love, your dream of life...for life. I was burdened with the struggle of recalling the pains of heartbreak...the separation, family break-up and eventual divorce. How my kids will never know what I truly feel... the pain of what they have endured. The selfishness, the fears of telling them how much it hurts...to be so close to resolve words like forgiveness, hopeless, and one I heard on Monday... Compassion. We only have each other... and yet we live like we have forever. The only forever I have today...is what I read. The scripture of faith, the story of one man's desire to reveal his character. For a forever accented with sorrows, overwhelming sorrows measured with my capacity to feel the compassion. I read... I believe, God is love. And yet I discard so quietly... my character, required to understand the crucifix, the horror of death, and the brilliance of the resurrection. I am less than the best... of my frail intentions. Why my spirit is allowed to walk with the tenderness of God... I cant resist. My only asset...is my experience. I love the broken. I know the road, the door of consequence... I know I am loved - I feel the grace, I know the mercy as I believe in the words, of Jesus in Matthew 6 and 7. Two chapters that will change a heart, a direction in life, a narrow path to a gate of eternal life...and a prayer for the ages, the "Our Father".
My heart was heavy today as I listened to the rain. I was pouring a cup of coffee early this morning, when the words "rains like days without you" ran through my mind. My wife was off to New York... yet the loss feeling wasn't her leaving for a short trip. It was for my daughter, Bailey. I was struck with her pain and the heartbreak she must feel... to lose your love, your dream of life...for life. I was burdened with the struggle of recalling the pains of heartbreak...the separation, family break-up and eventual divorce. How my kids will never know what I truly feel... the pain of what they have endured. The selfishness, the fears of telling them how much it hurts...to be so close to resolve words like forgiveness, hopeless, and one I heard on Monday... Compassion. We only have each other... and yet we live like we have forever. The only forever I have today...is what I read. The scripture of faith, the story of one man's desire to reveal his character. For a forever accented with sorrows, overwhelming sorrows measured with my capacity to feel the compassion. I read... I believe, God is love. And yet I discard so quietly... my character, required to understand the crucifix, the horror of death, and the brilliance of the resurrection. I am less than the best... of my frail intentions. Why my spirit is allowed to walk with the tenderness of God... I cant resist. My only asset...is my experience. I love the broken. I know the road, the door of consequence... I know I am loved - I feel the grace, I know the mercy as I believe in the words, of Jesus in Matthew 6 and 7. Two chapters that will change a heart, a direction in life, a narrow path to a gate of eternal life...and a prayer for the ages, the "Our Father".
I love you Bailey...
Rain like days without You
Summers gone…winters here…and the rain is falling
Like days without you.
Too many to count…like lost days…the rain falls.
I see patterns on the leaves and raindrops running away from me.
The rain streams water never to return…my heart and soul
tattooed with lost, as a reminder of the burn.
Will you meet me with my question, I wrestle with belief.
As I wake and see the rain on the window, with no signs of relief.
My heart is broken, your name unspoken. The searing pain
like winds of forever rain. This pattern of hell again.
Summers gone…winters here…and the rain is falling
Like days without you.
I listen to a song with words of, I’m lost without you…
The rain falls from my eyes…blurring the beauty of another sunrise.
I never knew the last day…was our last.
Your smile, when you caught yourself wanting to say…
this is all going too fast.
Summers gone…winters here…and the rain is falling
Like days without you.
When you walked away the wind was fierce as was the rain.
The delay before you left…reminds me, of holding my breath.
Like the hours later when I received the news…I couldn’t breathe…
I couldn’t breathe…I couldn’t breathe… without you.
so Summers gone…winters here…and the rain is falling
Like days without you.
Daniel©2019
