HIGH Crimes and Misdemeanors...

(Fiction - literature in the form of prose, especially short stories and novels, that describes imaginary events and people)... On that note:
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It was an innocent text to my hair stylist. I had come to the conclusion I was due for a haircut and I had to see what the game plan was. After a quick text of "are you working" came a reply, "I'm booking in a week or so".  Knowing the "shelter in place" was in effect and the opportunity to connect was a risk... I texted "let me know...".

A week later, a text came that asked about "Wednesday at 3?". I replied, "sure...that works. At the mall?" The reply was, "yes...see you then".

As I drove up to a bank (get some cash) across from the mall, I noticed it looked rather empty. In fact, the only auto in hundreds of open spaces, was a police car. He watched me turn left in front of him and another left, into the back drive through. It felt a little odd as I realized he was watching every car driving past his domain. His car started and drove off as I got some twentys from the ATM.

I made the left turn and proceeded to the backside of the mall to a Salon office I was very familiar with. The odd feeling of isolation returned as I parked in a vacant lot of 500 plus parking spaces. We were obviously alone..as she greeted me at the door with a smile, "how are you" and a quick lock up behind us we walked down the dark...unlit hallway to her office. I commented "thats odd.. whats up with the lights"? She then intimated that the salon is "closed" and she only just started using it again the last week. 
 
I excused myself to use the restroom across the half lit hallway and returned a few minutes later. I sat in the chair, as she closed the door, and we talked about the "lock down" and latest news.  Cuts and trimming proceeded with light conversation about family and the future of this madness called Covid19....for twenty minutes or so. And then it started...

Hello...hello? A loud voice bellowed down the darkened hallway to our left. Hello? Anyone here? My stylist froze...The security guard radioed, "no ones here", are you sure he went in this way? A voice confirmed on the two-way... "yes, we got him on tape and his car is still in the parking lot". As he tapped on doors ..ever inching closer to our office... instinct told me to quietly tell her...as I got up and walked to the corner... "turn the lights off". She did and came past the locked door and stood next to me in fear as her career and income slowly evaporated in her mind. I couldn't decide to bust out laughing, scare the security guard with a big BOO!... or realize he may be armed and I could be dead over a haircut!

TAP! Tap! on our door... HELLO? anyone in here...? DEEP BREATH... "wait, he said to dispatch, there's a bathroom here, as he opened the door slowly... yep, someones been in here ..the lights on"! You sure he didnt leave?... "No his car is still here", said dispatch. Weird... I'm going to look down this hallway... Tap...Tap... Hello.... Hello as his voice drifted off. 

My stylist looked at me..."what do we do? she whispered. Oh my God! Is this a movie? I thought....man gets haircut... man gets shot! Ok Ok...here's the plan I whispered, you go to the left... and I will go to the right down the dark hallway. Give me a few seconds and ask out loud... "who is it? whats up?" and that will divert him so I can get out the front door. Ready? A look of compliance was all I needed and I slowly began to walk down the hall way towards the door...when I heard... "Hello? who is it? Hello?", as my stylist perfectly navigated the situation.... I heard the guard....as I walked out the front door, "What are you doing here"? 

I was tempted to run for it...and then I realized I was on camera and walked slowly to my car. Got in...started...put it drive and headed for an exit. No cops... no one followed me...thank God! I made it a 1/2 mile away when I realized how intense, crazy and ridiculous this situation was! OMG! I could have been arrested or worse for a hair cut! FREEDOM! The adrenaline kicked in!

Buzz.....buzzz....my cell....I pick up.... "That was crazy!" My stylist said, "its ok...were good, I explained that we were moving and re-organizing". Security reminded me I needed to call the office if I was to enter the Salon.  My heart rate began to settle down... I realized my cut was about 80% done. "so... you want a diet or regular Coke,? I asked. What?, she exclaimed! "Yes..I said, I'm stopping for a coke and going back... you need to finish". Ok..uh... "just tell them I'm coming back with sodas and you are leaving in a few minutes", I said.  She replies... "No I don't need to call them". "I think you do", as I left it with, "see you at the door in 8 minutes..."

So I got there, we laughed...nervously.... thinking my God this is a movie! My 20% was done in 3 minutes... and we got out of there!

​Now that's a cut.... to remember! 

(names, events and dates have been changed to resemble a story that if asked about, is purely fictional)